Japanese pole vaulter’s Olympic dream dashed … by his own accursed ‘anatomy’

Japanese pole vaulter’s Olympic dream dashed … by his own accursed ‘anatomy’
The agony of defeat. (You call that a foot?) (Image via YouTube)

They don’t call it pole vaulting for nothing. The Australian website news.com notes that Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita missed a chance for a personal best, and he missed it by a (wet) nose:

Never before has a member of the male species wished for a smaller manhood. Until now.

… Hiroki Ogita will be ruing the size of his phallus after it caused him to foul during the qualifying rounds in the men’s event in Rio.

Ogita was attempting to clear a height of 5.3 metres in group A of the first round of the pole vault, when his leg came in contact with the bar. As he began to drop back down towards the ground, his shin grazed the bar, causing it to wobble dangerously.

But it was his penis that delivered the final blow. Already unsteady, the bar was dislodged from its holdings when Ogita’s old fellow decided to make an appearance and slap the metal. The vaulter’s arm then collected the bar as it began to fall.

In case you didn’t keep track of the number of synonyms and euphemisms for penis, I count three, including one — old fellow — I’ve never heard before. It could, I suppose, be an Aussie term. I’ll rely on more-traveled readers to set me straight on this.

Meantime, the article is by a man, Dan Elsom. I am surprised that he didn’t seek an answer to the question foremost in my mind and probably males of the species reading this post, and that’s this: Didn’t it hurt?

Ben Bowles

Ben Bowles

Ben Bowles is a freelance writer.

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