Get your ‘I’d Bottom for Hillary’ shirts (provided you’re down with bottoming)

Via BuzzFeed, a San Francisco dude (I’m trying to set the mood here) has started up an online store that sells t-shirts and tank tops with the message “I’d Bottom for Hillary.” If you aren’t sure what bottoming is, the accompanying copy explains:

This shirt is for all you out there that would drop pants, bend over and bottom for Hillary Rodham Clinton.

This shirt is for the people who look at at Hillary’s pant suit and end up on all fours, ass up. This shirt is for the men who see her give a thumbs up and find your pants around your ankles. This shirt is for the ones who not only are supporting Hillary Clinton in 2016, but would bottom for her as well.

It does not matter if you prefer to bottom, or you are a top that would only bottom for the HBIC, Hillary herself.

BUY the shirt, rock the style and vote for Hillary in 2016. #ImReadyforHillary #IdBottomForHillary #Hillary2016 #bottomsup

The site has an About Us page, which sheds further light on the identity of the 23-year old vendor, whose name, according to BuzzFeed, is Ryan.

We are small but powerful group that encourages Hillary Clinton to run for President in 2016. We recognize the unbelievable force that is Hillary Clinton. So much so, that we admit that we would willingly bottom for her.

It does not matter if you usually bottom, or if you usually top but can’t resist the Clinton. She is a bad ass bitch. She is the head bitch in charge. She is the Ma’damnnnnn President.

Ideally we would be bottoming for her as we were voting for her.

We will display our love for Hillary but informing the world of our desire to bottom for her. Buy a shirt, have no shame, and vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016.

I'd bottom for Hillary

So is Ryan bothered that Hillary, like Barack Obama, has evolved in her stance on gay marriage, having transitioned, in BuzzFeed’s formulation, from avoidance to opposition to silence to support?

Nah. He is quoted as saying, “It is rare to find a politician that has been in favor of same-sex marriage since the start of his or her career. Even Barack Obama was publicly against it until 2012. The bottom line (no pun intended) is that Hillary supports it now. And as long as she’s fighting for LGBT rights, I’ll be happy!”

There’s plenty of reason for Ryan to be happy. Her presidential launch video, released last weekend, includes two same-sex couples, which is proof positive she is actively courting the gay vote. Whether she is pursuing the hooker vote remains to be seen, although practitioners of the world’s oldest profession seem to be bullish on her.

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.


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