The “Forterners” and Former Browns will meet today, Super Bowl Sunday, in the man-made temperature-controlled Super Dome, less than 24 hours after the sun set on Groundhog Day.
In Lilburn, Georgia, Gen. Beauregard Lee, PhD (Doctor of Groundology, Georgia State, and Doctor of Weather Prognostication, UGA) promised less than six more weeks of winter given the overcast shadow-killing skies in North Georgia yesterday, thus causing great gnashing of teeth in the Rev. Al Gore-led Church of Man-Made Global Warming (whose religious services are now being aired on Al Jazeera TV in between prayers toward Mecca, oil company ads and calls for jihad against great Satans):
Georgia’s most famous groundhog, General Beauregard Lee, declared spring to be just around the corner after emerging from his plantation-style home at Gwinnett County’s Yellow River Game Ranch on a cloudy Thursday morning and seeing no shadow.
According to weather lore, if the groundhog sees his shadow on Feb. 2, there will be six more weeks of winter.
That’s what happened Thursday in Gobbler’s Knob, Pa., where Punxsutawney Phil made his annual appearance.
Gen. Lee got a little backup from a new weather predicting friend in South Georgia. At Albany’s Chehaw State Park, Asante, an African meerkat, also failed to see his shadow.
Not sure why President Barack Obama remains as indifferent to deaths of the homeless from hypothermia and frostbite as he is to facilitating a jobs-producing economic recovery given his stated Second Inaugural-agenda of gun control, immigration reform and climate change. We can only guess that it is related to his abortion-at-any-time-before-Kindergarten population control agenda, but I digress.
The fact is that Obama promised to lower the seas in his first campaign for the Oval Office in 2008. Not sure if the Grand Strand is grander in Myrtle Beach, S.C., but with temperatures this winter failing to get as cold as his “cool” personality, one can only expect an accelerated attack on the poor with higher gasoline, heating oil and coal prices as result. Of course, Obama and the Democrats reject claims they don’t care about the poor since they are willing to tax “the rich” more to give them food stamps. I just hope they live within walking distance of a forest and a grocery store.
Meanwhile, down in Nawlins’, massive quantities of energy will be expended to keep the temperature inside the Super Dome roughly the same as the outside temperature of 62 degrees. We hope Obama’s EPA police can be kept at bay until Kaepernick caps off San Fran’s 31-20 victory over Baltimore.
[Yes, we know Cockstradamus foresaw a mere 24-17 49er victory earlier this week, but that was before he woke up in Bill Murray’s old hotel room and had a Philly Cheese-steak sandwich with Andie MacDowell.]
Update on Obama’s angst over whether he would let his imaginary son risk concussions by playing football: Will he let his real daughters fill combat roles in U.S. armed forces?
“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson