The return of the dreaded mullet

The return of the dreaded mullet

MulletEnd of Days Alert…

Unfortunately for the human race, we as a species sometimes resurrect certain things that were best left to remain moldering in the grave. Namely, the word groovy, hippie-wannabes flashing the peace sign, and anyone wearing anything tie-dyed.

Sadly, the mullet is one of those cultural mistakes that’s making a comeback.

As recently reported by such diverse news sources as Australia’s The Brisbane Times, The Guardian (of London, UK), and the Los Angeles-based entertainment news site, the much-loathed mullet is suddenly fashionable again, not only among 50-something Night Ranger devotees but young Hollywood royalty as well as a certain leader of Britain’s screamingly liberal Labour Party.

The heebie-jeebie-inducing hairstyle reached its zenith during the 1980s, when everyone from superheroes to convicts were putting the world on notice that while there may be business in the front, all concerned could rest assured there was certainly a party in the back.

Wonder Woman digs the Man of Steel's Beaver Paddle, while Prisoner #820412 is seriously rockin' his Skullet.
Wonder Woman digs the Man of Steel’s Beaver Paddle, while Prisoner #820412 is seriously rockin’ his Skullet.

A ‘Do by Any Other Name…

As the festivities and roofie-fueled attempted date rapes continue amongst Jersey Shore Guidos, Southern Peckerwoods, and Aussie Bogans everywhere, normal people keep a sharp eye open for certain code words and aliases should the mullet rear its semi-shorn head in their cities and towns:

  • Ape Drape
  • Bi – Level
  • Camero Cut
  • Canadian passport
  • Coupe Longveuil
  • El Camino
  • Hockey hair
  • Kentucky waterfall
  • Missouri compromise
  • Mudflap
  • Neckwarmer
  • Ranchero
  • Shlonc (short + long)
  • Achy-breaky-big-mistakey
  • Soccer rocker
  • Squirrel pelt
  • Tennessee tophat
  • Yep-nope
T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman is a retired Master Sergeant of Marines. He has written for Examiner, Conservative Firing Line, and other blogs.


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