After sex went wrong? What sexual act calls for inserting a fork into your manhood? Forking?
Maybe the problem is that by the time you’re 70, you’re so jaded that you’re willing to try anything once. The 70-year-old in this misadventure turned up in the emergency department of Canberra Hospital complaining of bleeding genitalia, the Daily Mail reports.
He then promptly admitted that he had inserted a piece of cutlery into his urethra in an attempt to pleasure himself.
Unfortunately the attempt backfired and it became stuck, leaving him in considerable pain. Despite this, it took him 12 hours to pluck up the courage to seek medical help.
According to a report in The International Journal of Surgery, the piece of flatware was so firmly lodged inside the man’s “unit” that doctors were initially unable to find it. The article, titled “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body,” explains that it is very rare to find alien objects lodged in the lower urinary tract. Once it had been located, however, “multiple retrieval methods were contemplated with success achieved via forceps traction and copious lubrication.”
The journal article notes that many unexpected objects have been retrieved from other parts of the body, including toothbrushes, pencils, allen wrenches, plastic cups, light bulbs, thermometers, plants, vegetables, leeches, snakes, wax, and glue. The article also reveals that in a series of 20 adult cases over 9 years, foreign body insertions into the lower urinary tract have had a low incidence and that men are 1.7 times more likely than women.to engage in this pastime.
Krishanth Naidu, Maurice Mulcahy, and Amanda Chung, the trio of doctors who treated the unidentified septuagenarian, said they chose to publish the unusual case “to create discussion among the medical fraternity given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra.”
In case the reader suspects that there may be a foreign object lodged in his own package, typical symptoms include lower abdominal pain, penile pain, swelling of glans or body of penis, inflammation of the urethra, dyspareunia (pain during sex), blood-stained urine, pyuria (pus in urine), increased urinary frequency, inability to urinate, and fever.
Anthony Weiner did not contribute to this article.
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