Who’s up for a good cunnilingus joke? CNN, that’s who

Who’s up for a good cunnilingus joke? CNN, that’s who

Anderson CooperIt’s no secret that CNN’s fortunes have been on the decline. Mindful that it is hemorrhaging viewers, the network has been busy seeking solutions, including — as Kevin Whiteman reported late last month — developing “more compelling programming.”

And what could be more compelling than a good joke on cunnilingus? How about an anecdote by Anderson Cooper in which he revealed that his own elderly mother had “been serviced,” if you will, by “the Nijinsky of cunnilingus”?

The subject of male-on-female oral contact arose in a Thursday night bull session after the name of disgraced Toronto mayor Rob Ford prompted Dan Savage to declare, “I love a good cunnilingus joke on the evening news.” As Mediaite’s Josh Feldman notes, everyone had a good chortle, which inspired Cooper to share a little more personal information than viewers probably needed:

My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she had dated –– and I use that term loosely –– and she described one guy she was currently dating –– my mom was 85 at the time –– as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.

When Anderson continued, observing that he doesn’t “know much about modern dance,” Andrew Sullivan added to the merriment by observing, “Or cunnilingus!” Good times.

For the record, Cooper’s mother, American socialite Gloria Vanderbilt, is alive at age 89. If she has any regrets about writing her memoir or her son’s sharing her dirty laundry on television, she can take comfort in the fact that, given CNN’s ratings, probably ten people learned about her experience.

Feldman goes on to opine that the story is “the second weirdest Anderson Cooper/cunnilingus story of the year” was Kathy Griffin’s appearance The Late Show in which she recalls having offered to perform oral sex on Cooper during CNN’s New Year’s Eve coverage in 2012 [sic: The offer was to perform fellatio, not cunnilingus]. A video of the incident is here. In it Cooper is visibly uncomfortable at Griffin’s overtures, which include planting an on-air kiss on his clothed crotch, but it’s hard to fault the CNN host in this instance. I can’t think of a single man who would gladly accept a BJ from the witchy Griffin.

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.

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