Biden discovers new-fangled technology that will allow him to get his message out during pandemic

Biden discovers new-fangled technology that will allow him to get his message out during pandemic
Biden at a whistle stop on his No Malarkey tour. (Image: Library of Congress/LU Staff)

Peaches in cans: What will they think of next?

Presidential hopeful Joe (“Go to Joe 30330”) Biden has just stumbled upon a new technology that will enable him to communicate with the masses during the coronavirus pandemic. “They tell me there’s ways we can do teleconferencing via us all being in different locations,” the septuagenarian said, according to the Washington Examiner.

When asked why he is not streaming daily counterprogramming to President Trump’s White House briefings, Biden, 77, told reporters on a press call that his campaign is “in the process of setting up the mechanisms by which we can do that,” adding that is “above my paygrade.”

It sounds so … so futuristic. Like rocket ships to the moon or record players. A candidate can dream.

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Just imagine, if Biden wins the presidency, the nation will be awakened to a whole new world of technological advances in communication. He tried one of these last week when he held his first virtual town hall. During the live-streamed event, the former vice president paced back and forth while pontificating, at one point walking clear out of the range of the camera. His johnny-on-the-spot campaign team posted the town hall to Biden’s website, anyway, substituting a full-screen campaign logo for the live candidate.

Ben Bowles

Ben Bowles

Ben Bowles is a freelance writer and regular contributor to "Liberty Unyielding."