Good news for the lesbians of America. Hillary Clinton will not be hitting on you at gay bars or anywhere else.
In an interview with shock jock Howard Stern, the former first lady, secretary of state, and two-time presidential loser said that “contrary to what you may hear,” she is not a lesbian.
“Well, contrary to what you may hear, I actually like men.”
Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?
Just as lesbians breathed a sigh of relief, heterosexual men got the creeps.
Howard Stern being Howard Stern, the radio host asked Clinton to raise her right hand and swear that she “never had a lesbian affair.”
Clinton dutifully complied. “Never, never, never,” she said. “Never even been tempted, thank you very much.”
To be honest, I never believed the lesbian rumors because if the last few years have proven anything, it’s that the one and only thing Hillary Clinton is sexually attracted to is hanging curtains in the Oval Office.
Her sexuality declaration came after she revealed that she “dated a lot of different people,” adding that she “was pretty popular” and that “boys were not my problem.”
She described the man she had broken up just before beginning to date Bill Clinton as Adonis-like. “He was so handsome, really handsome. He looked like a Greek god. He was very attractive” She didn’t explain whether by “Greek god” she meant he was stiff like a statue or always stoned. But she did say, “He was a good guy.”
And he’s dead now. She even went to his funeral. It makes one wonder if he committed suicide like some other Clinton acquaintances.
On a serious note, Clinton may have just shot herself in the foot if rumors about another possible run for the White House hold any validity. Confessing to being heterosexual at a time when anything cis- is anathema to the Left — and going so far as specifying “never even been tempted” — could hurt her prospects at the ballot box.
You can listen to Stern’s interview of Clinton below:
