OK, so the United States Marines, they’re not.
Let’s be honest here: they’re not even even the Girl Scouts. A properly trained 12-year-old could wipe the floor with quite a few of them, in a head-to-head.
Stars and Stripes has the following observation on the video below, offered with a commendably straight face:
The four-minute compilation, released last week by the U.S.-led special operations task force in the country, seems aimed at undermining the group’s fearsome reputation. It resembles a selection of comical outtakes.
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The video, reportedly seized by U.S. forces in Afghanistan earlier this month, doesn’t even spot you the first 10 seconds. The ISIS trainees come prancing out right away with their arms extended, as if participating in some bizarre interpretive dance recital. The flesh-colored cosplay masks are uber-dope. The sick is awesomely thick.
Just keep repeating to yourself: This is not funny. This is not funny. This is not funny.
I promise you, you’ll have to.
Keep in mind, it’s an edited compilation, put together from more extensive video material recovered from ISIS. So the U.S. military is presenting ISIS to you here.
I considered pairing this with a video clip from The Sound of Music, showing the von Trapp children dancing at the evening ball. But I think it’s better on its own.
ISIS poses a real and ugly threat, and we must certainly take it seriously. But not necessarily for its hand-to-hand combat skills.