Apparently, wearing this item of apparel if you are a thief will prevent your arrest

Apparently, wearing this item of apparel if you are a thief will prevent your arrest

Build a better mousetrap, blah, blah, blah. What every entrepreneurial crook really wants is a disguise or other gimmick that will prevent him from being apprehended. One of the most successful get-ups ever gotten up was that of William Zeiler, aka the “commuter bandit,” who pulled down better than $200,000 over the span of sixteen bank jobs in Pittsburgh in 1967. His disguise? He wore a business suit, making him effectively invisible among the sea of similarly clad men making lunchtime transactions.

Now a new contender has emerged. From the Smoking Gun:

A shoplifter who wore a “Won’t Be Caught” t-shirt is being sought by cops who say that the woman and an accomplice stole handbags worth more than $700 from a Florida store.


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The two women were filmed “selecting multiple handbags and then passed all points of sale, making no attempt to pay for their selected merchandise,” according to police.

Apparently, the garment is one-size-fits-all:

In March, a woman wearing a “Won’t Be Caught” t-shirt was recorded on a security camera after she and a female sidekick stole nearly $1500 worth of perfume and cologne from a beauty supply store in Tampa.


In late-May, cops arrested Toccara Marlesha Huff in connection with the theft at the Ulta Beauty Supply store. Investigators identified the 33-year-old Huff — a convicted felon who has a rap sheet filled with dozens of arrests — as the woman wearing the “Won’t Be Caught” t-shirt.

In case you think you have what it takes to succeed in a life of crime, Sports Authority sells a version of the “Won’t Be Caught” t-shirt manufactured by Nike:

wbc t-shirtThe shirt, which has a list price of $35, is on sale for $24.97 and comes in two colors and a full range of sizes. But why spend anything when you can test your mettle and own the shirt via five-finger discount at the nearest Sports Authority? No word on whether you are entitled to a full refund in the event you are captured.

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.


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