School forces students to drop pants in quest to ID phantom pooper (Video)

School forces students to drop pants in quest to ID phantom pooper (Video)
School gym feecs-free

In a town the size of Gustine, Texas (pop: 457), nothing stay secret for long. Not even the identity of the elementary school student responsible (if it is a student) for decorating the floor of the gymnasium with the occasional human turd.

As ABC affiliate WFAA reports,  the school rounded up some two dozen students Monday and asked them to submit to a partial strip search so that their undies could be inspected for telltale signs of poop. Needless to say, the kids weren’t too thrilled with the drill — and neither were their parents.

Eleven-year-old Eliza Medina told reporters, “I felt uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to do it. I felt like they violated my privacy.” Said the child’s mother, Maria, “I was furious. If you can’t do your job or you don’t know what you’re doing, you need to be fired. You shouldn’t be here.

Gustine Independent School District Superintendent Ken Baugh conceded that requiring the kiddies to drop their drawers and salute was a bridge too far. But Baugh softened his criticism by nothing that it was his understanding that the children were told to lower their pants just a little.

Maria Medina contends that even a little — if in fact that account is accurate — is too much.

According to the news report, Baugh is hoping to conclude his investigation of PoopGate today, but not before parents have had their say.

One hopes that the superintendent’s inquiry will extend to suspects beyond just the students. After all, if “adults” in the school are dopey enough to think it’s nto inspect students’ underwear, why is it unreasonable to suppose that one of them is the mystery pooper?

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.

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