While browsing the website for the Family Planning Association, the national affiliate for the International Planned Parenthood Federation in the United Kingdom, I came across a creepy guide for parents: “talking with children aged 5-8.”
The FPA advises parents that 5-8 year old children “need to know” about “Periods and wet dreams” and “How a baby is made,” for example.
Parents should tell their young kids who want to know how a baby is made by explaining,
“Babies are made when a mummy and daddy love each other and are feeling sexy. When they both want to, they have a special cuddle. The daddy puts his penis into the mummy’s vagina.”
Because a 5-year-old totally can relate to what “feeling sexy” means, right?
Obviously, five-year-olds are also very curious about how to stop an infection during sex. Fortunately, the FTA has advice for parents on this burning question (no pun intended). If a child wants to know what a condom is, the FTA says that parents should tell kids:
“You roll it down a man’s penis like a little jacket. What comes out of his penis (the sperm) stays in the condom. If he’s having sex with a woman it stops the sperm getting inside her and making her pregnant. It can help to stop people getting an infection too.”
Small children also need to know about same-sex marriage, naturally. The FTA advises that in explaining what “gay” means, parents should say:
“This when a man loves men in the same way that men and women love each other. Women who love women are called lesbians.”
The FPA also has advice for speaking with kids and teens about a wide range of issues, such as “Homophobic bullying,”for teens and “oral sex” for 9-13 year-old children.