Do you hate getting patted down or zapped by a full-body scanner at the airport? Do you wish you could avoid removing your shoes, belt, and jacket? Would you prefer to keep your laptop with you rather than risk having the hard disk fried?
If your answer to any or all of these questions is yes, you can now tender a bribe that will get you special treatment.
It won’t even set you back that much — a mere $17 a year. Just make your check payable to “Transportation Security Administration.”
RT.com reports that the TSA has announced it will be expanding its PreCheck program to all comers. Currently, the program, which permits prospective passengers to bypass regular airport pre-flight security, is available only to members of selected frequent-flier programs.
TSA Administrator John Pistole said on Friday that all travelers will soon be eligible so long as they pay $85 for a five-year membership, provide identifying information, pass a background check, and undergo fingerprinting. (Oh, yeah: Sorry about that. You do have to let them fingerprint you.)
At present approximately 12 million travelers are enrolled in PreCheck, but the TSA expect another 3 million people before year’s end. The agency hopes to take in about $255 million from the expanded program.
Washington Dulles International and Indianapolis International airports will be the first two to offer the service starting later this year.
But if you fly out of one of those airports, don’t start counting your chickens just yet. RT warns:
PreCheck does not guarantee expedited screening, and all travelers are still subject to ‘random and unpredictable’ security measures, the agency said in a statement.
[Travelers may] still be subjected to pat-downs and searches if they appear suspicious.
Related Articles
- More TSA idiocy: Inspecting parked cars at airports, but only those parked by valet
- Decorated, wounded Marine treated ‘shamefully’ by TSA
- TSA’s answer to mom reluctant to open baby food jars? Give her a pat-down
- A modest proposal for limiting terrorism on airline flights
- TSA forces Marine who lost both legs in combat to stand up and walk
- Video of TSA patting down 3-year-old in wheelchair
- TSA agent nearly bursts cancer patient’s urostomy bag—again
- Man carries stun gun used on ex-girlfriend through airport security
- Despite pat-down, TSA inspector with bomb in pants waved through security
- Need a tribal spear or horse whip? TSA says, ‘We have that’
- TSA agent opens and spills jar of human ashes, laughs
- Did TSA allow a stun gun through airport security?
- Kanye West, Kim Kardashian allowed to bypass security at JFK
- TSA pats down another 6-year-old—twice
- TSA orders dying, 95-year-old woman to remove diaper during 45-minute search
- TSA fails to nab man traveling with no ID and fake day-old boarding pass
- Congress entertains legislation limiting TSA’s pat-down of children
- TSA fails to nab man traveling with no ID and fake day-old boarding pass
- Latest TSA fail: Four massive chef’s knives waved through O’Hare security
- TSA staff at JFK fails to detect box cutters in passenger’s carry-on luggage
- TSA follies: Intruder sneaks onto plane at JFK
