On this, the day of the second inauguration* of the most awesome president EVER, today is also deignated “Know Your Right-Wing Fascisti Day.”
It’s incumbent on all patriotic members of the proletariat to recognize intolerant, racist, warmongering, religious zealots and other counter-revolutionary enemies of the state… especially on this media ordained Holiest of Holy Days**.
Trending: Cartoon of the Day: No Child Left Behind
Anyone speaking anything even closely resembling the below quotes, ensure you contact your nearest chapter of the Obama Corps to report them.
“Today, we need a nation of Minutemen, citizens who are not only prepared to take arms, but citizens who regard the preservation of freedom as the basic purpose of their daily life and who are willing to consciously work and sacrifice for that freedom.” – John F. Kennedy
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” – Thomas Jefferson
“I am upheld and sustained by the good wishes and prayers of God’s people.” – Abraham Lincoln
“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender.” – Winston S. Churchill
“When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews.” – Martin Luther King
“Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.” – Mahatma Mohandas K. Gandhi
“Laws that forbid the carrying of arms…disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes.” – Thomas Jefferson
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” – Napoleon in George Orwell’s Animal Farm
“I am pleased to accept Life Membership in the National Rifle Association and extend to your organization every good wish for continued success.” – John F. Kennedy
“No Peg, the dress doesn’t make you look fat. It’s the fat that makes you look fat.” – Al Bundy
*Or as Newsweek magazine calls today, “The Second Coming.”
**So awesome, he’s been known to draw 140% of the vote in certain precincts.
Timothy Whiteman is a retired Master Sergeant of Marines who writes this commentary with tongue firmly placed in cheek.