New and improved jihad, now with 4.9K virgins

New and improved jihad, now with 4.9K virgins

Move over, Vince Shlomi and Ron Popeil. There is a new huckster in town. His name is Muhammad Ali Shanqiti, he is a Saudi-based cleric, and in a video from 2013 he explains that the eternal reward for killing infidels is not 70 virgins, as previously advertised. Act now, and you can bed down in the afterlife with 4,900 (count ’em) “black-eyed virgins!”

If you get married in this world, then [in paradise], you get your wife from this world, along with 70 black-eyed virgins with whom you are allowed to have sex, and each of these 70 virgins comes with 70 servant girls. So how many women do you get? That’s the minimum.

Baracuda Brigade does the math: Seventy times 70 is 4,900. But wait, there’s more:

Your reunion [with your wife] lasts for 70 earthly years. When the 70 years are about to come to an end, another black-eyed virgin calls to you from above: ‘Oh servant of Allah, don’t we get a piece of you?’

You turn to her, and you see that she is more beautiful than the woman you are with. You ask her: ‘Who are you?’ and she says: ‘I’m your virgin in paradise. Allah told you about me, saying: ‘There is more of them with us.’ I am one of the ‘more.’

Religion of peace? Religion of piece is more like it!


Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.

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