While browsing the website for the Family Planning Association, the national affiliate for the International Planned Parenthood Federation in the United Kingdom, I came across a creepy guide for parents: “talking with children aged 5-8.”
The FPA advises parents that 5-8 year old children “need to know” about “Periods and wet dreams” and “How a baby is made,” for example.
Parents should tell their young kids who want to know how a baby is made by explaining,
“Babies are made when a mummy and daddy love each other and are feeling sexy. When they both want to, they have a special cuddle. The daddy puts his penis into the mummy’s vagina.”
Because a 5-year-old totally can relate to what “feeling sexy” means, right?
Obviously, five-year-olds are also very curious about how to stop an infection during sex. Fortunately, the FTA has advice for parents on this burning question (no pun intended). If a child wants to know what a condom is, the FTA says that parents should tell kids:
“You roll it down a man’s penis like a little jacket. What comes out of his penis (the sperm) stays in the condom. If he’s having sex with a woman it stops the sperm getting inside her and making her pregnant. It can help to stop people getting an infection too.”
Small children also need to know about same-sex marriage, naturally. The FTA advises that in explaining what “gay” means, parents should say:
“This when a man loves men in the same way that men and women love each other. Women who love women are called lesbians.”