The old First Amendment
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
The new First Amendment
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion (unless it is on public property), or prohibiting the free exercise thereof (unless it is on public property); or abridging the freedom of speech (unless it is deemed “hate speech” or spoken by the Tea Party, pro-Israel groups or Christian groups), or of the press (unless you are James Rosen or the Associated Press); or the right of the people peaceably to assemble (unless you are a World War II veteran seeking to gain access to his memorial), and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances (unless it is the Tea Party, pro-Israel groups or Christian groups).”
