Scrooge-ish safety requirements may cancel the birth of Jesus

Scrooge-ish safety requirements may cancel the birth of Jesus

icon_alliance_ascension1CAUTION: Libby Doorman Is Not The Real Virgin Mary.

Rating right up there with safety warnings of remove child before folding stroller closed, and always avoid picking up chainsaw by the wrong end, is an admonition by a church group in Great Britain  planning a Nativity play for the public but first must ensure that the actress portraying the Blessed Virgin Mary dons a crash helmet in case she falls off her donkey, as reported by both Metro.co.uk (of London, England) on Dec. 8, 2013, and News Corp Australia on Dec. 10, 2013 (Australia is one day ahead of the United States).

The Bridge Church of Neath in Wales plans on 8-year-old Libby Doorman portraying the Mother of God this Saturday in their Nativity play, but not until she secretes a wee crash helmet under her Biblical garb.

The church’s official Youth Group leader Mark Barrett is voicing understanding of both the Neath City Council and the insurance company requirement that in case one happens to fall off their ass, they must first be sporting cranial Kevlar.

As the compliant youth worker stated:

The owner of the donkey asked us to do this to make sure we keep to [City] Council guidelines and his insurance policy.

We’ve just got to comply with it, and do everything we can to make sure that everyone is happy.

A local donkey will be playing the part of “donkey” and has been described as by Barrett as quite the docile animal.

Safety First…

Caution: Stupid Human.
Caution: Stupid Human.

It’s never a pretty thing when a donkey loses it, which may be a contributing factor to Barrett agreeing so readily to the crash helmet for little Miss Doorman:

We’ve got to consider that Mary will be riding a donkey on a public highway.

I know that the donkey will not be moving very quickly but we have a duty of care to the child, and if she is going on a public highway, then she has to wear a riding hat.

Quite possibly a devotee of thinking the problem through to the figurative and literal end, Barrett planned for every contingency well ahead of time:

We don’t foresee any problems – except the obvious with a donkey, but we’ve got a galvanised bucket and a shovel for that.


T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman is a retired Master Sergeant of Marines. He is the founder of the blog Unapologetically Rude and has written for Examiner and other blogs.

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