Federal worker given formal reprimand for workplace flatulence

Federal worker given formal reprimand for workplace flatulence
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He who smelt it…

Something is rotten in the state of Maryland. It is the noxious odor emanating from the tail pipe of an employee of the Social Security Administration.

The Smoking Gun reports:

A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded ‘releasing the awful and unpleasant odor’ in his Baltimore office.

The letter, dated December 10, accuses the man of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer.” The 38-year-old worker reportedly provided evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But an SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”

The letter has been redacted, obliterating the worker’s name, but The Smoking Gun obtained a photograph of the man and his wife (faces obscured) at a theme park standing astride — are you ready for this? — an employee dressed as Pepe Le Pew.

As though the whole matter didn’t already reek, the worker has taken refuge behind the protective apron of the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE), the union that represents SSA workers. When asked for a comment by The Smoking Gun, the worker remained close-mouthed. Now if only he could figure out to keep his other end closed, we’d really be getting somewhere.

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.

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