Do you need help talking to your child about Soleimani’s death? Time for Kids has a guide(!)

Do you need help talking to your child about Soleimani’s death? Time for Kids has a guide(!)

It doesn’t seem possible, but here we are. Time for Kids is offering parents of young children a guide to help them understand what could lead a lunatic like Donald Trump to assassinate a great guy like Qasem Soleimani.

OK, granted neither of the ascriptions lunatic or great guy appears in the Time article, but that doesn’t diminish the feeling that this whole thing is a prank by The Onion or just a bad joke.

So what does Time for Kids Executive Editor Jaime Joyce suggest you tell the kiddies to help them stop crying over Soleimani’s passing? Here are a couple of Q&As:

Who was Qasem Soleimani?

Trending: UC Berkeley students pledge money to help the Taliban kill Americans in the U.S.

Qasem Soleimani was a top military leader in Iran, a country in the Middle East.

Why did the U.S. take action against Soleimani?

President Donald Trump has called Soleimani a terrorist. Trump says Soleimani ordered attacks on American military and diplomats and was planning attacks against Americans in the Middle East. For this reason, Trump ordered the U.S. military to kill Soleimani.

Whoa, let’s put on the brakes. “Trump says Soleimani ordered attacks on American military and diplomats”? You mean the fact that this murderous cretin killed 600 U.S. soldiers is open to debate?

We’ve seen PSAs like this before, following a school shooting or other tragedy. But does Time really believe that the death of the general and its yet-to-be-determined aftermath are the sorts of things that will traumatize young children? Apparently, they do. Get a load of this Q: “Does the killing of Soleimani mean the U.S. and Iran are going to war?” Substitute getting a divorce for going to war, and you kind of see how the magazine got off track.

What I want to know is where Time for Kids was after the “assassination” of Osama bin Laden. Or better still when then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton quipped “We came, we saw, he died,” upon hearing of the death of Muammar Qaddafi?

That one will gives the tykes nightmares for years.

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.


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