Wait, make that “Simon says, ‘Bark like a dog.'”
Apparently the movie “Black Panther” (I haven’t seen it) depicts a fictional utopic African nation named Wakanda where the common reaction to whites who get uppity is to bark.
Makes sense, I suppose. For years now we have been told that certain expressions used by non-blacks are perceived as “dog whistles” by blacks.
Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?
Anyhoo writer Damon Young, who is editor-in-chief of VerySmartBrothas (VSB) and “a professional Black person” (his words) thinks that barking is the perfect rejoinder to the “thoughts and opinions of problematic white dudes.”
And not just any bark:
This isn’t a Shih Tzu barking through the window at a squirrel. Instead, this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark. A drowning bark. A Wakandan bark. A bark meant to communicate, “Um, who told you that you can speak? When it is time for your words, we will let you know. And maybe that time will never come. We’ll see. Now, just shut up and stand there. Maybe get on your phone and Google ‘How not to be a colonizer.’ Whatever you do, I want to hear you not speaking.”
The bark doesn’t just have to be a counter for useless words, either. A wayward white hand reaches for your hair? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A group of white people huddled on a sidewalk refuses to step aside when you attempt to walk past them? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A purse is clutched when you walk on an elevator? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! (If they’re going to act scared, you might as well give them a reason to be.)
I don’t know what any of this means, but sounds like a charming movie.