Look, I don’t care that Trump tapes the short, back end of his tie to the front, apparently to keep the ends from separating in anti-tie weather conditions.
As one tweep explains, on taller men, the back end of the tie doesn’t stay secured through the loop behind the broader front. So you want to lock it in place if possible, to prevent the dangling pieces of your tie from flying around in two separate directions.
I will defend PE Trump putting tape on the back of a tie. For taller gents, the shorter end isnt long enough to sit in the loop. Deal w/ it.
— Brendan Buck (@BrendanBuck) December 2, 2016
Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?
(Back many years ago, when I worked for a while as a sales person in men’s clothing, we offered extra-long ties for just that contingency. There’s always the old standby, the tie bar, of course. But I digress, and it’s silly to digress on something this meaningless.)
Anyway, there’s an image zooming around the web faster than a high-speed train to nowhere of Trump with his tie taped.
Donald Trump using scotch tape on his tie is not a metaphor. Or is it? https://t.co/6IPl3rGy16 pic.twitter.com/yg3B0PVQaT
— Slate (@Slate) December 2, 2016
And the left is having one of its patented meltdowns over it. Here’s the headline for Salon’s contribution:
Half Windsor, all fiasco: Trump’s necktie-gate may undermine his statesmanlike gravitas
A mass deployment of half-witticisms ensues.
As you might have already seen, Donald Trump was recently photographed emerging from his airplane as a gust of wind caught his necktie and revealed a dirty secret. The president-elect, who is a man of substantial means, holds his necktie together with Scotch tape — a discombobulating mishmash of Armani aesthetics and hobo fashion sense.
As upsetting as this is, I really can’t make head or tail of it. Clearly Trump is concerned about how terribly embarrassing it would be to have the two ends of his tie flopping about willy-nilly. And yet the solution he has landed upon — or someone else in his inner circle has — is to make a third-grade arts-and-crafts project out of his wardrobe.
What the hell is going on here?
Let’s start with the reason why he’s even in the situation of having to tape down his own necktie. Trump likes to wear red “power ties” because he is the living stereotype of a 1980s New York power broker. And he likes to wear his ties long so that they extend well past his belt buckle and form a crimson arrow that points at his crotch. There’s a trade-off for transforming your necktie into a gaudy billboard for your penis: you can’t do what normal people do and just tuck the narrow end into the conveniently placed loop on the back the broad end.
It goes on and on like that. (Yes, believe it or not, there’s more. I know, I know.)
The tweetstorm is just as you would expect.
Donald Trump's tie is held together with scotch tape, not unlike our fragile democracy https://t.co/wV5zCEqbk0 pic.twitter.com/q5SzpyO5T5
— GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) December 2, 2016
https://twitter.com/hvgoenka/status/804981902021038080
Someone who was voted to be a good comedian served up some, let’s be honest here, weak sauce.
#Trump's tie is held together by scotch tape. I guess that's what happens when you make your own ties in China. #TIEGATE pic.twitter.com/m4Azw5GC4i
— Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) December 2, 2016
This next guy shouldn’t necessarily be garroted forthwith. He does manage to be neat and frugal with the verbiage.
did you hear about the mexican clothier that called donald trump?
yeah it was tie juan
42,069 RETWEETS 80,085 FAVS
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) December 3, 2016
Whatever. I predict that by tomorrow, America will be divided into two main camps: those who couldn’t care less if they tried about Trump’s tie, and those who think it’s kind of homely and sweet, and shows that he has more important things to think about. You know who’d never be caught with tape on his tie, is Mitt Romney.
Trump ties will sell out, if they haven’t already. I don’t keep track of these things.
Trump’s supporters will only think more of him, and feel a greater affinity. What guy hasn’t had one of those moments in public? A guy who never has one is probably “handled” by too many people during his day anyway.
Now, get back to me if Trump starts using duct tape on his ties. (It would certainly stick better in those all-day marathon situations.) That would be some serious genius.
A bracing image to set your smorgasbord for thought.
