Monday is President Barack Obama’s birthday, and the Democratic-run House Majority PAC is getting antsy because it doesn’t have enough signatures on his birthday card. So the group is making an all-out last-ditch plea to collect more.
Under the subject “SIGN THE CARD: President’s Birthday Card!” the PAC sent an email to the party faithful asking for their signatures, because, according to them, with all the the hard work he’s doing and all the problems he’s dealing with, he really deserves it.
“He’s had to deal with so much recently,” it says. “A lawsuit from John Boehner and the threat of impeachment looming from the Tea Party – it’s time we give him something nice. We need to get 32,000 more signatures on his birthday card before he sees it.”
Aww, yeah, we know. He has that border crisis he caused by his “pen and phone” that he’s chosen to ignore. Then there’s all the war and unrest in North Africa, Ukraine and the Middle East precipitated by his “hands off” policy. Not to mention his apparent decision to destroy our relationship with the only ally we have in the Middle East.
And he works so hard. He has a grueling schedule to contend with. He’s constantly striving to improve his golf game, make fundraising appearances and globe-hopping on vacations.
Then there are all the phony scandals the president has to contend with, and the need to constantly stonewall Congress and the media lest they become real scandals.
At this point, the email asks the recipients to please sign the card by clicking on the PAC’s website.
The email brings up those meanies who constantly battle the president — Boehner and the Tea Party.
“To all those who stood with us the past few weeks as we’ve stood up against Speaker Boehner’s lawsuit and the pending threat of impeachment from the Tea Party, we wanted to say THANK YOU.”
Won’t you please help? No? Yeah, well, neither did I. However MAD Magazine has it on good authority that Obama issued an executive order wishing himself a happy birthday. Here’s their tweet:
— MAD Magazine (@MADmagazine) August 4, 2014
And here’s the email from House Majority PAC