Girlfriend won’t stop shopping: Man kills self

Girlfriend won’t stop shopping: Man kills self

Lets-go-shopping-she-said-it-wont-take-long-she-saidWe’ve all been there, brother…

Crossing all racial, cultural, and national borders is the frustration understood by men worldwide and experienced in most visceral form by a 38-year-old man in the Chinese coastal city of Suzhou who just couldn’t take it anymore.

According to witnesses the 38-year-old man leaped the equivalent seven stories to his death after repeatedly begging his girlfriend to just … stop … shopping.

Fun Meter Pegged Out… reports that, before taking the plunge, Tao Hsiao was heard arguing with his girlfriend that five hours of continuous shopping and more bags than he could carry was pretty much all he could handle.

Nonetheless, Tao’s yet-to-be-identified-by-authorities inamorata insisted on hitting one more store to purchase shoes.

Witnesses say that the girlfriend justified her decision by insisting said footwear was allegedly on sale.

Isn’t It Always…?

An anonymous witness related that, according to the girlfriend, somehow the whole situation was Tao’s fault:

He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime, and it was pointless buying any more.

She started shouting at him, accusing him of being a skinflint, and of spoiling Christmas.

It was a really heated argument.

Apparently reaching his breaking point, Tao slammed the bags down, the hurled himself over the balcony, in that order.

Cue the Alanis Morisette Music…

Authorities stated that Tao died on impact, but not before taking out a number of Christmas decorations.

A spokesman for the upscale mall pointed out the obvious in a statement to the press:

This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people.

T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman

T. Kevin Whiteman is a retired Master Sergeant of Marines. He has written for Examiner, Conservative Firing Line, and other blogs.


For your convenience, you may leave commments below using Disqus. If Disqus is not appearing for you, please disable AdBlock to leave a comment.