NJ, ATL win Super-disrespect Bowl but, respectfully, NY…

NJ, ATL win Super-disrespect Bowl but, respectfully, NY…

…will still not have hosted a Super Bowl this time next week.

While tea party conservatives endure IRS audits and face 007bama T-men with licenses to kill their 501(c)(4)s, the nation’s largest non-profit appears poised to dodge a wintry-mix-laden NFL Championship Game tomorrow in the Garden State.

Yes, we know many think reports of a New York Super Bowl are accurate. After all, won’t the game be played at the home stadium of the New York Giants and New York Jets? Yes, but since when did Madison Avenue and environs put a premium on truth in advertising. Heck, even down here in Dixie, the Panthers hail from an amorphous “Carolina”. Never mind that its Bank of America Stadium is located in the city of Charlotte, NORTH Carolina.

And just as the two Carolinas are divided by a border with separate gubernatorial elections held every four years on opposite sides; so is there a Hudson River separating Governor Andrew Cuomo’s pro-life-averse Empire State from New Jersey where its Governor led an impressive recovery from Hurricane Sandy in 2013. Yes, we know of the George Washington Bridge-gate allegations of wrongdoing against the latter’s Chris Christie, but are content to await verdicts in courts of law.

Meanwhile, have Silver Spoon-residents of Manhattan’s Upper East Side managed to dig out from last month’s blizzard after Gotham’s new left-of-Bloomberg-Mayor Bill de Blasio hadn’t enough snow plows to clear the streets much beyond his Harlem voting base?

One could still faintly hear the whining of the elites in New York City while sleeping in one’s pick-up truck a few nights ago here in non-Hotlanta after less than three inches of snow and ice turned Interstates 85, 75 and 20 into the world’s largest parking lot. Smug Yankees snickered at Georgians and Alabamians’ refusal to raise taxes for such twice-per-decade events, while they pay confiscatory taxes for the right not to smoke, eat trans fats or drink jumbo Cokes in Fifth Avenue restaurants.

But, New Jersey – into which Washington crossed the Delaware and sitting-Vice President Aaron Burr slayed former-Treasury Secretary Alexander ($10 bill) Hamilton in a duel – still has gardens where one can consume all three and a Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford of which denizens of NYC’s five boroughs can only dream.

We would enjoy Super Bowl XLVIII (or, for the unpretentious who haven’t the clout to avoid taxation of their profit-making enterprises as has the National Football league, Super Bowl 48) even if it were played outside the Lower Forty-Eight, and look forward to when it’s next played in the Peach State’s City-to-Busy-to-Hate, when, hopefully God will choose to spare it the ice storm that accompanied its previous iteration in Atlanta’s Georgia Dome.

Yes, many down here recently endured two days of frozen Hell, but what of the 365 days on either side of SnowJam 2014? We’ll leave the 49th (NJ) and 50th(NY) worse business climates across the Fruited Plain to Jerseyites and New Yorkers because, as Hank Williams Jr. declared, before and after he was wrongfully banned from singing “Are You Ready for Some Football?” on Monday nights, (audio):

If Heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t want to go!

If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t wanna go
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I’d just as soon stay home
I was one of the chosen few, to be born in Alabam’,
I’m just alike my daddy’s son, I’m proud of who I am.
I went through a lot of good women, and shook old Jim Beam’s hand,
If I never see the pearly gates, I’ve walked through the promised land.
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t wanna go,
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I’d just as soon stay home.
If they don’t have a Grand Ole Opry, like they do in Tennessee,
Just send me to hell or New York City, it would be about the same to me.
I’ve got wild honey trees and crazy little weeds, growin’ around my shack,
These dusty roads ain’t streets of gold, but I’m a happy right where I’m at.
All these pretty little southern belles are a country boy’s dream,
They ain’t got wings or halos, but they’re sure looking good to me.
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t wanna go
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I’d just as soon stay home
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t wanna go
If heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I’d just as soon stay home
If they don’t have a Grand Ole Opry, like they do in Tennessee,
just send me to hell or New York City, it would be about the same to me.

Go Peyton! (He’s from Dixie)

[Cockstradamus picks Manning’s Denver Broncos to best Seattle’s Seahawks by 6]

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson


Mike DeVine

Mike DeVine

Mike DeVine is a former op-ed columnist at the Charlotte Observer and legal editor of The (Decatur) Champion (legal organ of DeKalb County, Georgia). He is currently with the Ruf Law Firm in Atlanta Metro and conservative voice of the Atlanta Times News.

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