I’m a lesbian. My fiancée is a trans woman. We’re trying to have a baby the old-fashioned way. It’s complicated

I’m a lesbian. My fiancée is a trans woman. We’re trying to have a baby the old-fashioned way. It’s complicated

[Ed. – Since the plumbing checks out, it shouldn’t be that complicated.]

Over the last several months, I’ve spent evenings watching my fiancée, Lara, inject herself with smaller and smaller doses of estrogen. I’ve watched her stand in front of a mirror, singeing each hair out of her face with a secondhand electrolysis machine.

The return of her testosterone hasn’t resulted in just the resurgence of facial hair; her pants now fit differently, too. My own skin has been plagued by acne since I got off the pill six months ago, and my default states are angry, hungry or sleeping. Such are the perils of trying to have a child the way Lara and I are trying, without in vitro fertilization, or cryogenically frozen sperm. The way fertile cisgender people do: They simply couple up, and boom — a child is born.

For many young trans people, the question of having babies is likely the last thing on their minds. Who could blame them? Like all young people, they’re figuring out their future, and matters of diapers and breast-feeding seem abstract and far off. But unlike all young people, young trans people are often making choices that have long-term consequences for their fertility.

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