Hey, a little nuclear war in the Middle East would sure halt global warming, wouldn’t it?

Hey, a little nuclear war in the Middle East would sure halt global warming, wouldn’t it?

[Ed. – Yeah, it’s a nutty theory.  But just the sort of thing the web loves.  Enjoy.]

Surely the president is well aware that U.S. government computer models predict that even a small nuclear war anywhere on the planet could trigger “unprecedented” global cooling.  With global warming the culprit, cooling, however it’s accomplished, would provide a quick fix for the guy in need of a boost in the polls.

Sure, a small-scale nuclear war would cause global cooling, further reduction of the ozone layer, and harmful ultraviolet radiation.  That, in turn, would usher in death, disease, and drought due to things like lack of rainfall.

But ultimately mass starvation and plague could deliver positive results, particularly for the growing problem of overpopulation.  Then, in due time, as millions die off, the president’s credibility would be greatly improved among organizations concerned with controlling world population, like the U.N., and his legacy as a transformative leader would be secured.

If Iran lobbed a nuke at Israel, smoky, dusty, ashy high-carbon clouds would block the warmth of the sun.  That, coupled with radioactive fallout, would usher in a “nuclear winter” capable of instantly stopping the destructive heating trend Obama so passionately believes is wreaking havoc in places like the Florida Everglades.

But most importantly, thanks to superb forethought and unprecedented planning, global warming would cease, and global cooling would commence.

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