1) Members of Congress have to push their own elevator buttons.
How will these Congresscritters make it up or down the floors of these buildings? I hope the nightly news gives us an update. I wonder if these journalists know that all other Americans push their own elevator buttons.
2) Shoeshine operations in the Capitol are temporarily gone! I repeat: Shoeshine operations in the Capitol are temporarily down!
This shoe shine situation is so dire, PBS put it in the headline. It’s probably too much to ask a federally funded media outlet to be skeptical about the need for federally funded shoe shining.
3) The Congressional gym is closed! I know! What will we do?
Yeah, you read the above headline right. The gym, the true cost of which is shrouded in secrecy from the taxpayers who foot the bill, is going to close for a bit. The hundreds of thousands of gyms funded privately throughout the country will continue to operate, somehow.