1) All your friends who do wicked important, top-secret Jason Bourne stuff for the government? Yeah, they’re not essential, and they’re not going to work today, meaning they’re less insufferable than usual, plus they’re at home pre-gaming for when you’re done with your work day.
2) And on that note, when all this happens, the government actually has to decide how much of its essential services are actually essential. And it turns out it’s a whole lot less than most politicians would like you to know.
3) Because why? Because for a few days government workers will actually get paid for the value they create. Which can be awkward.
4) But it won’t be awkward for our men and women in uniform, who, in the absence of all those wicked important civilian contractors running around doing wicked important things, will get to live and work on bases that actually run with military efficiency.
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