PETA hopes to turn Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood home into vegan restaurant

What better place to open a gastronomic temple to non-animal proteins than the childhood home of a serial killer who cannibalized many of his victims?

The Akron Beacon Journal reports that a real estate agent with a listing for the former home of Jeffrey Dahmer in Bath Township, Ohio, is in receipt of a letter from Ingrid E. Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, proposing the conversion.

Newkirk likened the way animals are slaughtered, processed and consumed to the way Dahmer treated his victims.

“We are always looking for ways to draw attention to the violence inherent in the production of meat, eggs, and milk — which involve processes that would shock all but the most hard-hearted person,” Newkirk wrote in the letter to Richard Lubinski of Stouffer Realty. “Dahmer’s old house gives us a way to evoke sympathy for these victims and to suggest that a life-affirming diet can change everything.”

Jeffrey DahmerBut there is a snag to PETA’s plan. The three-bedroom house, which is the site of Dahmer’s first murder, is zoned for single-family residential use.

Bill Funk, the township’s zoning inspector and administrator, said the building and lot are poorly suited for a restaurant. He noted that the house has well water and a septic system, and the sloped, wooded lot would make parking difficult.

PETA has said it would rather fight than switch. Lindsay Rajt, a spokeswoman, observed the animal-rights group already has a marketing plan in place. Demonstrating that PETA is not without a sense of humor, Rajt allowed as how the restaurant would be called Eat For Life: Home Cooking. Main courses, which sell for $10 or less, include chipotle barbecue tofu kebabs and vegan creamy “chicken” casserole (made from mock chicken and dairy-free sour cream).

Lubinski said he wasn’t sure whether PETA was serious about the offer or just looking for publicity. But “I’m certainly going to treat it as a serious lead at this point,” he said.

The 2,170-square-foot, midcentury modern house has been on and off the market since 2012.

The endeavor, whether or not it becomes a reality, is not PETA’s first statement about cannibalism. In 2012, the group recommended that a prison housing Tyree Lincoln Smith place the man on a meat-free diet. Smith was in jail for having hacked a Connecticut man to death, then eaten his brain and eye.

Jeffrey Dahmer could not be reached for comment.

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Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy

Howard Portnoy has written for The Blaze, HotAir, NewsBusters, Weasel Zippers, Conservative Firing Line, RedCounty, and New York’s Daily News. He has one published novel, Hot Rain, (G. P. Putnam’s Sons), and has been a guest on Radio Vice Online with Jim Vicevich, The Alana Burke Show, Smart Life with Dr. Gina, and The George Espenlaub Show.

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