Conan: Our government will be shutting down this week. So, folks, get ready for absolutely no noticeable difference.
Leno: We’ve had 17 government shutdowns since 1976. The longest was those four years during Jimmy Carter’s presidency.
Conan: Today was the Obamas’ 21st wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, the President forgot. So, tonight he’ll experience a different kind of “shutdown.”
Leno: Tonight at midnight all non-essential White House personnel will be sent on leave. So, more bad news for Joe Biden.
Conan: When the government shuts down, most of the White House staff gets sent home. Leaving only nine guys whose job it is to keep Joe Biden away from the President.
Conan: A new study says prison inmates cost New York City the same as an Ivy League education. Of course, that’s a ridiculous comparison. Inmates leave prison with actual job skills.